I'M LIKE A TRASHCAN, HOLDING ALL THE INFORMATION

Hi, everyone. Before I begin on this post, I’d like to open up the floor to some questions.

Yes. You over there – in the ascot.

Q: Hi. I’m The Italicized Voice in Your Head That Serves as Your Readers’ Proxy. Where the hell have you been for the last month or so?

A: Yes. Thank you for the question. I’ve been a little busier than usual. Spent most of my time doing a makeover of my business site, and I had to write a few other things as part of “Operation Secure More Cash.” It all took a little longer than I expected.

Q: And you couldn’t write anything for The Funbunker while you were doing this?

A: Well, I guess I could have. It’s just that when I’m wearing The Business Hat, it’s hard to put on The Wacky Pants.

Q: That’s a shitty excuse. For starters, you actually can wear pants and a hat at the same time. And people do multitask, last time I checked.

A: Yes, I can. And yes, they do. But multitasking can be a struggle for me … which brings me to the subject of today’s post. …

I’ve always looked up to jazz musicians, not only because of their artistic talent but because they’re amazing multitaskers: They play cool solos, they light cigarettes, they hold their liquor, they develop drug habits, they dodge eviction, and they juggle girlfriends … all at once!

Think about it. Not so easy, huh?

(more…)

Someone just checked his Google Analytics account for the first time in a long while.

Shout-out to my crew in Caracas!

Update on the way.

Words escape me.